the meaning

I don't know why, but I only wish you the best forever... I guess maybe I love you more than myself hahahah I wish you the best forever, always and all the time... I wish you are not as sad as I have been, I don't want to write to you because I know it can hurt and I am done hurting... So if you find this and read this, I want you to know that there is not easy times for me, I'm not OK, am very sad, but I am here still breathing and going on... I wish you are OK and having wonderful times with the people you love and focus in yourself... You was the best I have ever lived, I don't know why, thanks for all the time you shared with this imbecil man that thought for a meanwhile that can... At least I lived from the deepest of myself with all my stupidness and everything that was passing... Now I just want and wish you are OK... If you find this, you know is for you and I wanted to be flying as you but you can't fly as down as me... The sad thing is I don't want to go up, I don't know why... There's no why we are as we are but I only know I was my best and my worst with you... I still have an avoid inside me... I hope you don't. From my deepest part of myself I only can thank you... It's so sad to not speak... But it's enough... You are wonderful and beautiful and I know you will. A big soul to your heart... It was a very difficult last week and 26/05... It still difficult... Be strong, be you, as you are.